Today, I am reflecting on how I became an independent follower of the True Dhamma, stepping out of conformity. These changes happened gradually over decades.
Meat and animal flesh gradually left my life, and my religious rituals changed similarly. Until the age of 16, I ate everything, though I occasionally ate only vegetarian food or only fruits for a few days at a time. The first thing I stopped eating was beef, followed by pork. Later, I avoided certain types of fish that required instant killing, and crabs. I became completely vegetarian (lacto-ovo type) around the age of 35.
I counted beads until I was 19 and would also recite anything I found from Suttas or other texts. Then, a few experiences occurred that didn’t resonate with me. I completely stopped bead counting and focused solely on meditation practice. After that, I no longer wanted anything on my altar apart from Buddha images and photos. I removed everything else around 2016 or 2017, and eventually gave the altar to someone who wanted it, leaving only a single Buddha image at my home. Now, I no longer feel the need for it, even though it remains in my home in my country.
I gradually stopped going to pagodas as well. Since arriving in Thailand over two years ago, I haven’t visited any, and I am no longer interested. These days, all I do is meditate regularly and read or listen to Dhamma from trusted sources. That’s it. For a certain period, I have been a non-traditional Buddhist.
There are many rituals I disagree with, especially those involving loud noises or fun activities that go against Dhamma teachings but are still labeled as religious festivals. I stopped donating to things that didn’t make sense to me, while continuing to support causes I believed in.
Earlier this year, I wrote about my experience with becoming and being a vegetarian, yet I still felt compelled to justify my choice to people who didn’t approve. Only recently, after reading the works of Mahasi Sayadaw and revisiting the Buddha’s teachings, did I realize that vegetarian living is fully aligned with Theravada principles. This understanding arrived just a few days ago and opened a new level of insight into the Buddha’s teachings. I am grateful that I have been able to follow my inner guidance despite external criticisms.
These days, I have no need to be right, nor any desire to win arguments. Even when facts are clear, people often cling to their biases, self-interest, or simply the need to feel right. Even if these choices lead society toward collapse, many will not change course.
According to the Buddha’s teachings, until we dissolve our karma through awakening, everyone lives according to their own karma—shaped not only by past actions but also by present choices. Each stage of awakening transforms that karmic momentum. A stream-enterer eliminates the karma that would lead to the lower realms, including hell. A non-returner no longer needs to return to the human world. That is my aspiration.
As a meditation practitioner, I wish to cultivate karuna and metta toward all beings. Yet this remains an ongoing struggle. I have witnessed the darker sides of human nature during vulnerable moments, and what I have seen cannot be unseen. Still, this has reduced my attachment to people and situations, pushing me inward.
Every moment of clarity, every small insight, every subtle realization loosens the grip of mental chains, helping me feel a little lighter, freer, and more peaceful. And that, for now, is enough.
© Dr. Tune. All rights reserved.
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