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Remembering the Buddha’s Hesitation

Blog Reflection

I started meditation from the age of ten and remained in the beginner stage for twenty-one years. I went through the first insight stage over twenty years ago. It was not easy for me to go through this journey — off and on — but I continued.

Sometimes I feel the urge to share my experience, thinking that it may benefit meditators at an early stage. However, I always remember this:

“Then, monks, this occurred to me:
‘This Dhamma I have attained is deep, hard to see, hard to understand;
peaceful, excellent, beyond the sphere of logic, profound,
to be experienced by the wise.
But this generation delights in attachment, rejoices in attachment,
is devoted to attachment.
If I were to teach the Dhamma and others would not understand me,
that would be wearisome and troublesome for me.’”

Ariyapariyesana Sutta (MN 26:7), “The Story about Brahmā’s Request”
Source

If even the Buddha hesitated, seeing how deep and subtle the Dhamma truly is, who am I to speak of it? I remind myself that silence can also be a form of respect — to keep my small understanding quietly, letting it mature inwardly.

I simplified the insight stages because, when I needed that, it was hard to find and not easy to understand. According to Dhamma talks by Venerable Mogok Sayadaw U Vimala, the Buddha taught only three stages of insight, but the Arahant Sāriputta, one of the Buddha’s closest disciples, later articulated them into sixteen sequential experiential stages based on his own understanding.

I have already written and shared two small books from my experience, but I could not share fully due to certain concerns. In addition, I realize that I didn’t remember everything completely and didn’t fully understand these things myself when I wrote them, as I do now.

For the moment, I will focus on internalizing my understanding, rather than sharing it further, as I believe I still have a long way to go and need to understand the Dhamma more deeply myself.



Last updated: 1 November 2025
© Dr. Tune. All rights reserved.

Comments

I’m interested, in case you can share.

How often do you meditate?

What type of meditation do you mainly practice?